Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Welcome Bag



There's not a lot of real action to report on the adoption front, however our Dossier is in Ethiopia being translated into Amharic.  I have been working on assembling a "Welcome Bag" which is our only chance to send Mareshet a gift before I come to pick her up, hopefully in June.  I found the softest teddy bear imaginable for her.  I spent lots of time looking for just the "right" bear, a little messenger carrying the touch of a mother.  It took a lot of hugs to identify the best carrier teddy for the tenderness I want Mareshet to feel when she receives our package.  I probably looked a bit odd (or at least lonely) in the toy store, as I tried them all out!  But I'm really counting on this little guy...

I also created a T shirt for Mareshet with our picture on it.  I hope this is the only time in my life I will be compelled to make a T shirt of myself; it's quite embarrassing.  But this is what she will wear to announce that she has a family waiting for her.  As for the rest of the Welcome Bag contents, I've taken them out and put them back in so many times.  I keep changing and rearranging what I think will fit into the requisite gallon-sized Ziploc bag.  As it stands, in addition to the bear and shirt, we will also send a letter, a small photo album with pictures of N. and I, a disposable camera so the staff can get photos of Mareshet receiving her bag, a red and white striped pair of children's sunglasses, and some stickers.  I keep trying to jam in other things like a stationery set, a beaded bracelet, other small things... but in the end I have to trust that she will be most content by simply knowing we are out there.  I can't wait for her to understand how much she is wanted.  We talk about her as if she is already with us.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Mareshet is ours!

Apologies for not updating the blog more recently; things have been moving quickly and I was out with a cold.  But we have accepted a referral for Mareshet, who is about six!  It went a little like this (apologies to D. Sheff for the literary style):
Fortunately, I had been in contact with Erin, one of the workers at AAI.  She sent me a few pictures of some of the waiting children, and I became intrigued by Mareshet.
Unfortunately, I was still waiting to have my Homestudy approved by AAI so that I could see Mareshet's file.
Fortunately, it was approved a couple of days later!
Unfortunately, it did not approve me for a child over the age of four.
Fortunately, my birth date was wrong (I instantly aged six years).  My homestudy worker was a gem and corrected not only the age (whew) but the age of approval to six.
Unfortunately, Erin pointed out that Mareshet will be seven (per record) in the year that my case will go to court.
Fortunately, they caught it at AAI and changed it to seven!  
I then received Mareshet's file, and it didn't take me long to figure out that she belongs with a family like us.  The rest will be history!  I have since heard that my Dossier was sent to Washington DC, then to Ethiopia to be translated.  I also received a notice from Immigration with my scheduled fingerprinting (or biometrics) appointment.  It's very Meet the Robinsons.

Mareshet is on record as having been born in 2002, but few in Ethiopia remember when she was born, exactly.  Her mother and father died.  When I opened her file and saw their names, baldly printed there in black and white, I started to cry.  Their cause of death is not listed, which suggests HIV infection.  Mareshet lived with her mother's sister for a time.  But since they lived in utter poverty, the auntie ultimately relinquished Mareshet to the orphanage.  It is heartbreaking that this sweetie lost her parents at such an early age.  What does she remember of them?  She has been in care for a year.  Is she starting to forget her auntie?  
My daughter is the same age as Mareshet must have been when she lost her mother.  I can't even think about the terror she would feel, to lose us.  My stomach literally turns in panic--how could I leave her so vulnerable, so needy?  In my case, I am reassured to know many who would step in and care for her.  But for Mareshet, it was a different world.  Then to be relinquished by the one person who had stepped in for her parents... loss upon loss.  I wish I could tell her parents, "Don't worry, I am here!  I was here all along!  I will take your baby home and get her to school and love on her like you did.  Your precious only daughter is going to be part of a family and have shoes and birthday parties and books and live to be eighty if I have anything to do with it!"
  I hope to be able to meet the auntie when I'm in Ethiopia, to introduce myself and get her blessing.  Maybe she has photos of Mareshet's parents, stories or memories.  I will try to keep any links to her past and mementos of the family she grieves for.
Mareshet is said to be active, friendly, eager to help with the younger children at the orphanage, playful, and pretty healthy as far as things go.  She has a big toothy smile and soft brown eyes.  She has no hair to speak of since it is kept so short in the name of bug control.  I just wish I could go get her right now.  Najma is very, very excited to have a big sister.  She has brought her picture in to school for Circle Time.  She has decorated pictures to hang in her room.  Since Mareshet is such a peanut, and Najma is pretty tall for her age, they may be physically close in size.  We have the opportunity to send Mareshet a Welcome Bag with a t-shirt, photos, and small toys.  In this way, she will learn that she has a family waiting for her.  I love this idea, but I also wish that she knew now.  It may take a month for our Welcome Bag to reach her.  I wish she knew we were here planning for her right this minute!  I'd post her picture but it's against the regulations until she is officially adopted.  Thank you to everyone who has been so congratulatory and aware that this is just as momentous as having a baby born into our lives.  

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Joy to the World! Despite the Headlines


Well it's been a terrible week in the news, with psychos calling themselves Muslims committing heinous acts in India, Pakistan and God only knows where else.  It's been a week I want to forget, as I walk around constantly conscious of my headscarf and clothes.  Only when I've been able to sit and contemplate the truth of my faith am I able to reclaim my identity, proudly, as a Muslim.  I know who I am, I just need some reassurance sometimes that I'm not the only Muslim out there who still believes in love and respect.  Oh, sure-- there's about a billion others out there, but it is all too easy to feel alone unless I actually pick up the phone and do some networking.
Trumping all of the ugly stuff, however, is the joyous arrival of Baby Grace!  My dear friends have been waiting for nearly three years to adopt and finally their dreams have come--suddenly-- true!  I can't wait to meet all five pounds of her, as if I can't quite believe the miracle until I see her.  Magically, the woes of the world seem to melt away with just this one, beautiful birth.  Welcome, Gracie, I am honored to be your Auntie!  Welcome, also Baby Violet, who I met tonight at a week and a half old!  What a good reminder of how small and vulnerable and innocent we are as we come to this Earth.  Can we project that natural lovingkindness that babies elicit from us outward into our communities?  God bless the babies and their mommies, please, tonight.  Above, my own newborn babe, over three years ago-- did she really start out so little?